Those who are unfaithful often say that they truly cared for (or still care for) the person they betrayed. But is that really the case? Love is complex to start with, and cheating doesn’t make it any simpler to figure out the truth here. Consequently, a lot of this will depend on your personal views. If you want to understand the connection between love and cheating, we’re here to assist you. Just remember that regardless of what you have gone through, your emotions are valid, you deserve love, and you can recover from whatever bleak situation you may be facing right now.
Is it possible to cheat on someone you love?
The answer is not simple, and there are no definite solutions. Love is a very intricate emotion, and being unfaithful is not always easy to understand either. People have various motives for cheating. It may be hard to accept this, but there is no way to tell if you can cheat on someone and still love them. Even after being unfaithful, you may be able to restore your relationship and find love again—even if you think that you or your partner never felt true love before. You could argue that cheating does not mean you stopped loving someone, but it might mean you do not value or appreciate them.
What causes people to cheat?
- Some people cheat because they feel ignored, or abandoned.
If someone is in a relationship where they feel like their partner doesn’t value them, they may end up seeking that emotional satisfaction somewhere else. Even if their perception isn’t realistic, they’ll go wherever they need to go to feel cherished, loved, and respected. This doesn’t mean that the person being cheated on is to blame. Even if someone is neglectful, there are always better ways for the other person to deal with it. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
- Some people may struggle with stability due to mental or emotional challenges.
Those who are addicted to sex, love, or other vices may cheat as a way of satisfying their compulsive cravings. Certain emotional or mental health conditions may also increase the likelihood of cheating. For instance, people with bipolar disorder may engage in more sexual behaviors when they are in a manic state. Attachment anxiety is a condition where someone feels more scared the more they bond with someone—often stemming from a traumatic childhood. People with high attachment anxiety may cheat more often
- Some people cheat because of low self-confidence or pressure.
Cheating may not be related to someone’s partner. Some people cheat because they think they don’t deserve a happy, loving relationship, while others do it just because they have a negative self-image. Some cheaters do what they do because it gives them a temporary relief and they don’t have a better way to cope with their distress.
This does not mean that this is a healthy way to handle pain. Being overwhelmed, fearful, or unhappy with yourself is not a valid excuse to cheat on someone.
Cheating on a partner does not imply that your love was fake.
Many people assume that cheating only happens when there is something wrong with a relationship. However, the truth is that even satisfied and happy people in committed relationships can cheat. It is hard to deny that there was any love in a relationship just because someone was unfaithful.Love is not a constant state. It can change over time. You could still say that love was present before and after the cheating, even if it was absent during the act. There is some solid proof that loving more than one person at once is possible. This is what polyamorous people feel (but cheating and polyamory are not the same thing).
Can you still love someone after cheating?
- Yes, nothing is ever over unless you want it to be.
Restoring a relationship after an affair can be challenging, but it’s certainly achievable. Don’t make any hasty decisions for now. Think about what you want and create some room for the two of you to process how you feel. If the two of you want to work this out, seek out couples therapy. This will significantly increase the chances that the two of you can heal. This process is different for everyone. Some couples find it easy to come to an agreement, take responsibility for past mistakes, and start over stronger than ever. For other couples, it can take years for the healing process to take place.
- Being betrayed by someone you love can make you lose the ability to love again.
You are not at fault if you have been betrayed and you feel the love drain from your heart. That is a completely normal, reasonable response, and many people go through this. If you have been betrayed and you don’t have the desire to continue the relationship, it’s alright to move on. This can also apply to the person who betrayed, too. Some people act out against their partner and betray them deliberately to “punish them” because they’re angry and they feel like they’ve reached their limit. For these betrayers, it can be difficult to release all that resentment.
