Accept the Relationship is Over
The first and most critical step to forgetting someone is accepting the relationship has ended. As painful as it is, you have to let go of any hope that you will get back together. Tell yourself, "it's over" whenever you catch your mind wandering to thoughts of reconciliation.
Force yourself to face the reality of the situation - you and your ex are no longer a couple. Shifting your mindset is essential to being able to move forward.
Cut Off Contact
It's incredibly challenging to forget someone when you are still interacting. That's why it's vital to cut off contact after a breakup. This means:
- Unfollowing, unfriending or blocking them on social media
- Deleting their phone number
- Avoiding places they frequent
- Asking mutual friends not to pass along updates about their life
Removing your ex from your day-to-day life will help diminish thoughts of them faster. Out of sight, out of mind.
Get Rid of Reminders
Gifts, cards, photos and other memorabilia from your relationship can make it impossible to forget your ex. Pack up these sentimental items and put them away where you won't see them daily.
If some items are too painful to save, consider throwing them away or selling/donating them. Removing tangible reminders of your ex will help you move forward.
Focus on Yourself
Part of letting go is shifting your focus back to yourself, your goals and your happiness. Immerse yourself in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Spend quality time with close friends and family who lift you up.
Setting new goals and working towards them, like career advancement or adopting a pet, can also boost your mood and confidence. Avoid wallowing in sadness by nurturing yourself and your own interests.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Well-meaning friends might advise you to "just get over it" after a breakup. In reality, recovering from heartbreak requires allowing yourself to fully process the pain, anger, confusion and other difficult emotions.
Give yourself permission to cry or vent when you need to. Don't bottle up feelings or beat yourself up for not moving on more quickly. Acknowledge this is a grieving process that takes time.
Give It Time
There are no shortcuts to forgetting someone who was important to you. It takes patience and commitment to reach a place of acceptance that the relationship has ended.
Expect that occasional painful memories or regrets will resurface, especially early on. With time and concerted effort, these lingering attachments will diminish. Be patient with yourself throughout this process.
Write an Unsent Goodbye Letter
Writing a letter you never send to your ex can provide closure. The act of pouring out your emotions on paper and summarizing the relationship's highs and lows allows you to process your feelings.
Once you've written the goodbye letter, keep it or destroy it. The goal is finding an outlet for your innermost thoughts, not reconnecting with your ex.
Seek Outside Support
Forgetting someone you shared a deep connection with can be isolating. Seeking support from a mental health professional or a support group for those going through breakups can help.
Talking through your feelings and coping strategies with others facilitates healing. Connecting with people who understand your pain provides comfort too. Don't be afraid to lean on others during this challenging transition.
Time Will Diminish the Memories
No matter how intense a relationship felt, over time, the memories and emotions associated with an ex do fade. It may not seem possible after a painful split, but you will think of that person less and less as you move forward with your life.
With distance, memories lose their sharpness. The sadness and anger dissipates. One day you'll realize you haven't thought of your ex in weeks. Letting go just takes time.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to forget someone you love?
There is no set timeframe for getting over an ex. It depends on factors like the length of the relationship, how intertwined your lives were, and how the breakup occurred. Expect it to take at least several months. Give yourself grace through this challenging transition.
How do you forget your first love?
Your first serious relationship feels momentous, but the same strategies apply. Accept it's over, remove them from your life and focus on self-care. Recognize that you will find love again, even if that seems hard to believe now.
Why can't I forget my ex?
It's normal to have persistent thoughts and memories of an ex after a breakup, especially if you were together a long time. Don't beat yourself up. Healing from heartbreak just takes time and conscious effort. Continue employing strategies like avoiding their social media and focusing on yourself.
Is it normal to think about your ex a year later?
Occasional thoughts of an ex are perfectly normal, even long after a breakup. Important relationships leave an impact. Small reminders may trigger a memory. As long as these thoughts are fleeting and not affecting your mood or daily functioning, they are nothing to worry about.
How do you let go of someone you love but can't have?
Letting go of feelings for someone unavailable to you romantically is painful too. It requires brutal honesty with yourself that it will not happen. Fill your life with meaningful activities and relationships that bring you joy. Over time, your feelings will fade. Allow yourself to grieve what could have been.
Can you ever truly forget your first love?
With significant time and distance, even memories of your first love will begin to dim and lose their intensity. You may recall general details, like when you met or favorite dates, but the visceral heartbreak and longing will continue to lessen. Focus your mental energy on the present, not the past.
How do I forget the memories I had with my ex?
You likely can't erase all memories of your relationship, nor should you want to. These experiences helped shape who you are. But employing strategies like avoiding triggers, filling your time with new activities and waiting for the intensity of the feelings to diminish will help. The memories will become less painful.
